I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
