Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
