So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
