I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
