Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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