some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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