somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
