I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
