Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
