woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
