Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
