I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
