so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
