You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
