At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
