i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
