I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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