if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
