I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm sobbing to NWA
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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