mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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