McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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