I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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