sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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