dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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