I need help removing her.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
