i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
