if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
barbara walters just said penis...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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