we're blogging at a bar
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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