I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize