I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
