Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
