He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
