like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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