You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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