I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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