I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
