the day after is always just damage control
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
