she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
