Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
where are my eyebrows?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize