those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I would ride that face into the sunset
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
