it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
