You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I am one with the molecules
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
