There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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