You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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