Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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