I think i peed on brittanys purse
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Sorry about my life...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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