I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
