My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
should my penis look like a turkey
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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