Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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