so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
