we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
