No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
