He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
