He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
