the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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