bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
