my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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