Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
