Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
