can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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