Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
