If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
