I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
