The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
